Day 330 – Bring back the yelling!

Just read an article that says a new research study showed that if you use the consequence discipline thing (if you do that I’m going to…) and use loss of a material object as the consequence (if you do that again I’m going to take away your favorite stuffed animal), you are actually encouraging your children to be more materialistic and value “things” too much.  OK, wouldn’t want that would we.  So, for repeatedly not listening to me, you can keep your precious Lego star destroyer, I’m just going to start yelling again! Seriously, a parent can’t win.

Day 329 – Brain needs rest.

I went to bed last night feeling really tired and thinking how nice it would be to rest my body and my mind (how very holistic of me).  But my brain had other things in mind.  I dreamt that I was roommates back in college with the #1 person in our class (who I love very much, but would have been intimidated as hell to have as a roomy).  I kept getting her into trouble because I did strange things like die my hair red (like Ronald McDonald red – which I have never intentionally done).  Stranger still my high school boyfriend was in the dream and acting rather cold to me.  When I approached him with my crazy hair and asked him what was up he said that he was not sure if we should go out because Deanna (not her real name) told him I was not a nice person.  Deanna is a women who worked with me in my last office, clearly thought I was an idiot and although never (that I know of) purposely sabotaged me, she certainly never did anything to assist either.  So, what does it mean that I have a dream with someone (some good and some bad) from every decade of my life?  And what is up with the hair?  Of course first thing in the morning I had to look up my high school boyfriend on Facebook, call my old office to see how everything was going, and e-mail my dream roomy to see how she was doing.  If this is what REM sleep does for me..no thanks.

Day 328 – Vacuum noise.

I just got yelled at by Lukie because heaven forbid my vacuuming was making so much noise he could not hear the computer game he was playing.  Guess what Lukie – I’m not the one who put shredded cheese all over the floor two days ago that has now hardened into something close to concrete and can barely be picked up with the vacuum.  I’m not the one who chooses to eat graham crackers over the hard wood floor rather than over his plate.  I’m not the one who decided that the sand from the playground should be emptied out of my shoes on the kitchen floor rather than outside and I am certainly not the one that sheds 10 pounds of cat hair daily or the one that has cat allergies for that matter.  Oh and the only reason you are on the computer is to keep you out of my way so I can vacuum.  So either stop yelling at me to stop vacuuming, vacuum yourself, stop being the slob that you are genetically inclined to be (Doug not me), or go outside and play where my troublesome vacuum will not bother you crazy boy!

Day 327 – Civic Responsibility

I didn’t learn the first time, so decided to help out with the neighborhood association.  This time I just volunteered to pass out newsletters to 96 houses.  In my head this was going to be a fun family project that we could do together on a Sunday that was otherwise free of planned activities.  I could just picture us walking around together enjoying the warmer temperatures and our wonderful neighborhood.  Getting some exercise and talking to the boys about how it is important to do things for the community.  At least that is what it looked like in my Pollyanna world.  What I actually got was two boys screaming they did not want to do it.  Two boys who would not even take my bribe of $5 each to help.  One husband who kept asking, “Why do we have to do this again and when does it really have to be done by?”  So, I did it myself.  It was quiet, peaceful, good exercise and I got alone time outside.  I think I won this one without even knowing it.  

Day 326 – Contrasts.

Went running with a friend yesterday morning.  It was quiet and peaceful and a great way to start the day.  Within 2 minutes of entering my house all of that changed.  Lukas was screaming because he needed help in the bathroom, Samson was screaming because he did not want to get ready for baseball, Doug had not had his morning cup of coffee (you never want to be in the same house with him before his first cup of coffee).  It was loud, crazy, confusing and almost instantly the zen of my run was an ancient memory.  Then I thought of what my friend (who has no kids) might be experiencing post run.  I envisioned her quietly entering the house to be greeted excitedly by her loyal dog.  She probably got to have a cold drink of water before going upstairs to have a shower where nobody was calling her name, walking in on her or requiring her immediate attention.  She may have even gotten to shave her legs?  She probably got to read the morning paper as she sipped a warm cup of tea or sat in the back yard enjoying some sunshine and the birds singing.  I love my life, but sometimes the grass sure looks greener on the other side (or at least in at the house down the street)!

Day 325 – Hot moms.

I think I have taken pretty good care of myself physically over the years and I have quite a bit of self-confidence, but one thing I could use a little less of is my husband saying how good looking other women are.  I get it, sometimes there is just that woman that is so striking that he has to say something, but not every woman fits this category and if they do this would insinuate that he is just turning into a horny old man.  Notice them, admire them from a far, but you don’t have to say something to me about them.  And I should not have to tell him that it is not only inappropriate, but a little creepy when after attending a preschool function he labels the school “gifted” based on how hot the moms are.  I’m not one of his drinking buddies.  Maybe I need to start telling him how the 21 year old swim coach is chiseled like a Greek god, the Portuguese soccer coach would make any woman into a soccer fan, or the new stay at home dad down the street has a great back side!

Day 324 – Old Boys Club

So I thought my old job in the military was an old boys’ club, but today I discovered they also exist in little league.  Today they needed a parent to coach third base and when I volunteered, everyone looked at me like I was insane.  Perhaps this is just because none of them actually wanted to do it, but I have my doubts.  Then one of the kids on third questioned me when I told him he didn’t have to run and to wait and see where the ball was hit.  Are you kidding me?  I have played the game for more years than you have been alive kiddo.  This is not rocket science folks; it is baseball (and little league at that).  I was not great at softball, but I played growing up and I played in college.  Yes, it was softball, but mechanics and basics of the game are the same! Oh and I am basically the one that taught my son to throw.  I took my husband to his first professional baseball game.  I took the boys to their first minor league games and even made the arrangements for both boys to go to their first professional games (they wanted to go with daddy?).  I signed both boys up for baseball/t-ball, bought the gloves and all the gear (except cups – I claim no knowledge of equipment that protects that body part).  Yet despite all of this, I have found another place where nobody seems sure I fit in.  This must be how dads of all girls feel at ballet recitals.  Oh wait, most of those dads never did ballet, don’t watch it on TV, and don’t care about it at all so that is also how I would feel at a ballet recital, but not how I feel on the baseball field!