Day 28 – Chores?

We made chore charts today.  First question out of Samson’s mouth was “What do we get if we finish them?”  You get to continue to live in this house and eat without paying me room and board (OK, maybe that is a little harsh for the 4 and 6 year old, but…it is what I was thinking). Although we sat down and selected each of the chores to add to the charts together, there was still some argument when it came time to complete. 

One of the chores is to empty the dishwasher.  After much discussion and explaining, this task (which usually takes me 5 minutes) took the boys 25 minutes (and I still had to put the dishes away that they could not reach – which was most of them).  Lukie also decided it would be fun to lick each clean fork that he took out of the dishwasher before he put it away.  I suddenly felt one of my leadership flaws setting in…..rather than teach them how to do it or wait while they learned, I just wanted to grab the dishes out of their hands and do it myself! I resisted the urge and hopefully it will pay off in the end.

Day 27 – Mommy who?

I had a race early this morning and by the time I got back Doug and boys were out fishing.  They did not come home until late afternoon.  Then the boys wrestled with Doug, played with Doug, and watched soccer with Doug.  I asked if they wanted to go to the pool, ride bikes, play outside….”only if that is what Daddy is doing”.  Glad they love their daddy, but kind of strange to go from full time playmate, story reader, snack supplier, transporter, care giver to not having to do much of anything.  I ran my race, went to Starbucks with a friend, baked brownies, worked in the veggie garden, bought a new shirt, and made a run to Target.  Nice to have some “free time”, but I miss my boys.  Doug going for a bike ride tomorrow, so I should at least get them back for a couple of hours.

Day 26 – The Honeymoon is Over

Don’t get me wrong, the first week home with both boys had not been all rainbows and butterflies (or even monster trucks and dinosaurs in our case), I did some yelling, the boys did some crying and yelling, but overall I could look back and be happy about the day.  Fortunately it is only 3:00, so I may still come around on today.

It started with some dino shaped pancakes (very cool mom now giving myself the thumbs up for thinking of it).  Then we had tickets to the Discovery Theater in DC.  Easy metro ride and a live music and audience participation kids show.  Cool right?  Well the music started with the band having all the kids stand up and dance.  Samson (in the front row), just sat and looked at them, but he is usually a bit more reserved so no problem.  Lukie got up to dance, but when he noticed Samson sitting down he quickly joined his brother.  I thought maybe they were just mesmerized by the instruments or shy.  Not the case. 

5 minutes later Samson comes over to me and in his best whine/cry 2 year old voice (he is 6 remember) yells “It is too loud and I don’t like it.  I want to go home.” Well the show is only 30-45 minutes so we are sticking this thing out.  I tell him if it is too loud we can move back.  He then throws himself on the floor and starts screaming at me that he wants to go home.  (Thanks, heard you the first time.  Answer still and especially with your fit – “no”).  I get them moved to the back of the room in hopes that he will kind of curl up with me and just calm down.  Then Lukie joins in with “I’m hungry.”  So with one boy yelling in each of my ears and taking turns rolling around on the floor throwing fits, I told Samson if the music was really too loud he could wait outside.  He left and Lukie immediately said “Where is Samson going?”  and followed him out.  I (15 minutes into the show) gave up, but I was mad/sad/disappointed.  I must admit I also briefly thought - Men procreate just because they want the chance of creating someone who looks like them.  I have no idea why women bother.

I took them outside without saying much to them and gave them snacks.  Lukie asked, “Mommy are you mad at us”.  My brain was saying “Of course I’m mad at you little turds.  What does it look like?” I held back and instead asked them how they would feel if at the Air and Space Museum (their favorite place in DC) I threw myself on the floor and demanded we go home?  Samson said “I would be sad.”  Lukie said “I would think you were crazy mommy”.  You are both right!  So that is how mommy felt when you acted that way today.  They both just got really quiet and finished snack.

I don’t know if they got it or not, but I felt better for having stayed calm enough to talk to them and not scream like the crazy person I was feeling inside.  This full time parenting thing is harder than anyone could have ever told me.  Actually if you picture me acting like that at the Air and Space Museum it is kind of funny!  (Don’t worry I won’t test it out unless I get really desperate.)

Day 25 – Toilet Paper

I think I already noted that the house is messier because we actually live in it more than a couple of hours a day now.  Other things I have noticed that have changed since we are physically present in the house more:

• ·         3X as much laundry (not sure why, but no joke)
• ·         Need to restock groceries every few days rather than being able to stretch it to every week (forget college loans for the boys, I’m pretty sure we will have to take out a second mortgage on the house to feed them both in high school)
• ·         Have to vacuum once a day (or at least we should to keep mice and ants away)
• ·         Grass grows faster (OK it probably does not, but now that we don’t have a lawn service guy and have to cut it ourselves it sure seems to grow faster)
• ·         Same goes for weeds
• ·         Bathrooms are disgusting (here I have to apologize to our former house cleaners because they were probably always this bad I just never was in the house in daylight hours enough to notice)
• ·         We ALWAYS seem to be out of or nearly out of toilet paper (I am thinking we may have to invest in a BJs membership after all)

Day 24 – Bodily functions.

For the last three days something very strange has happened.  It takes us 10 minutes to walk to the pool in the morning for lessons and the exact same route home later that day takes us 20 minutes.   More strange is the fact that each day before we leave for the pool I ask anyone if they have to go to the bathroom.  Of course nobody does, but of course 5 minutes later (almost exactly ½ way to the pool) someone cries out that they have to go potty or simply drops their pants in whichever yard they happen to be in front of and waters the grass (fortunately this is only Lukie and not Samson).  

Before departing for home I ask the same thing.  Who has to go to the potty?  No body of course.  ½ way home Samson says his stomach hurts because he has to go poop (I am not kidding this has happened in both directions three days in a row now).  Sorry kiddo, you can’t just drop your pants and do that in a front yard.  I don’t have a plastic bag big enough to clean it up and I might get thrown in jail if I let you.  My theory:  too excited to pee or poop before leaving to the pool, too tired to pee or poop before walking back home and walking obviously stimulates bodily functions (not very scientific, but I’m sticking to it).  All I know is Lukie needs to keep his pants up in public and no matter how bad his stomach hurts because he has to poop I cannot carry my 60lb Samson home from the pool.

Day 23 – Hike vs. Dino Dig

Apparently the boys don’t like going on hikes or even nature walks (or so they said), but if you do the exact same trail/route and carry a couple small shovels, let them dig in the sand for 30 minutes and call it a dinosaur dig it is a huge success! 

I asked the boys how they were going to do on our hiking vacation to the Smokey Mountains in Aug.  Samson replied, “You are going to have to bring a lot of snacks.”  For the 2.5 mile hike today I brought two kids’ water bottles, two juice boxes, pretzels, apple sauce, fig newtons, and two granola bars (all got eaten).  I’m going to have to go back to work just to pay the grocery bills when they are in high school.  Somehow I managed to forget any snacks or water for myself.

I know it is only day two with both boys home, but I don’t miss work and although we have some bumps both days, I’m really enjoying the boys.

Day 22 – Two on one.

Today was my first day with both boys at home full time – happy summer!  It is what I have been waiting for.  I get to hang out at the pool with the boys, go to the library, not have to stick to a schedule and really enjoy some quality time together.  All those other people have to ship their kids off to endless summer camps (at an average of $400/week) and after camp programs or hire some college kid to watch them during the day.  My kids are going to get to go to Mommy’s Summer Camp this year.  This of course is how I have pictured it in my head and have since the day I decided to retire.

It did not start out that way.  By 8:30AM I had already not just yelled at the boys, but had a yelling fit so powerful that I had to leave the room to calm down.  The good thing is when you start out on that low of a note, the day can only get better.  I actually think they are not used to seeing Mommy that mad and it scared the crap out of them.  After I calmed down we went to swim lessons, hung out at the pool, signed up for summer reading program at the library, read a bunch of books together, watched some World Cup, rode bikes, even managed to make it to the grocery store and watch the Lego Movie for family movie night.  The house is a disaster, and I am almost too tired to type, but what a great day.  

Day 21 – World Cup Drama

I think maybe I was getting a little too excited about the US vs Portugal World Cup game today when Lukie looked at me with big sad eyes and said “Mommy you are scaring me.”  On top of my over enthusiasm, Samson managed to have a mini meltdown not because our team lost (they tied actually), but because I explained he will never be able to play in the World Cup for the Netherlands.  I did point out that he could play for the US, but that didn't seem to excite him too much.  So I tried to explain that the Netherlands might someday change their citizenship laws so that he can claim Dutch citizenship just because he was born in the Netherlands.  This didn’t help either.  Finally, Doug brought down some frosted brownies and all concerns about his World Cup future magically melted away.  Baked goods and good old fashioned bribery really can solve a lot of our parenting problems.

Day 20 – Camping

Why is it that I went to the store to get the new queen size air mattress for our camping trip and I brought pillows to pack for everyone, but when I opened the tent to put the boys to bed, my sleeping bag was on the regular floor and I was the only one without a pillow?  Am I a bad mommy because as soon as the boys fell asleep I took a pillow from Samson and moved Lukie to the cold hard ground?  Still did not sleep well.  I think the key with camping is that you have to do it at least 3 nights to sleep well.  By that time you are so tired you don’t have any choice but to sleep.  Or you can be 4-8 years old.  They seem to sleep great!

Day 19 – Mad at Mommy.

Samson was mad at me because I would not drive him to school this morning and made him take the bus.  Guess a whole 19 days of taking the bus made it boring already.  Lukie was not happy with me because I made him put on underwear.  Sorry kid, you are not going to go commando all summer.  Lukie continued to be mad at me because I cut him off of his morning TV when the allotted time was  up, when I made him come with me to get a thank you gift for his t-ball coach, when I would not let him stay in the car while I went grocery shopping, when I would not let him get powdered donuts at the CVS, when I dropped him off at the gym’s  Kids’ Club so I could exercise, when I picked him up “too soon” from the same Kids’ Club after my workout, and of course when I made him wait to go to the pool until Samson got home from his last day of school. 

Samson continued to be mad once he got off the bus because he claimed to have worked too hard the last day of school (sure you did) and did not want to go to the pool.  Sorry kid, your brother has been waiting like 10 million hours to go to the pool with you.  Put on your suit.  He continued to be mad because apparently Lukie always gets his way.  (guess he must have been referring to this particular  pool thing because it is clear that Lukie does not always get his way – see powdered donuts, Kids’ Club, grocery shopping, and TV from this morning). 

Both boys continued to be mad because I actually made them wear shoes to the pool and put on their seatbelts.  “You never let us ride without seatbelts.  You always make us wear them.”  How very observant of you Samson.  Needless to say by this time Samson and Lukas are not alone - I am mad, frustrated, tired, and wonder if I can legally go get a pedicure and leave the two of the at home alone.  Then we got in the pool.  The water must have magic healing powers.  15 minutes and lots of splashes later all three of us seemed to have forgotten to be mad.  We may be at the pool every day this summer!

Day 18 – Hurry up and wait.

It has always bothered me that some home service/repair companies say they will show up to do something between 8-12 or 12-4.  I am shocked they can’t give me a little better idea of when they might come, but have accepted that this is the way it is.  Used to be particularly a pain in the butt when I would have to take off work not knowing if they would come at 8 (and be done by 8:15) or I would be home twiddling my thumbs until 11:45 when they finally show up and work on something until 2! 

I no longer have to worry about the work part so I figured no problem this won’t bother me at all, I scheduled a 8-12 appointment to have the air conditioner serviced.   At 12:45 with no call and no sign of the person I called the company.   “Oh, he is on his way.  Running a little late.”  The guy that finally showed up was very nice and got the work done, but come on, just because I am hanging out at home does not mean I don’t have stuff to do.  So I guess I learned my time, and freedom to use it as I please, are just as valuable to me as they were when I was going to work (maybe more so).  

Day 17 – Popsicles

Made the mistake of attempting to be super cool mom again by providing my children with a snack that was not only fun to eat, but fun to make and of course healthy.  I found an article in a parenting magazine about making popsicles.  So I went out and bought all the ingredients and proceeded to make blueberry pancake popsicles (Greek yogurt with blueberries and maple syrup), banana coco popsicles (bananas, raspberries and some coconut water), and PB&J (strawberry jelly, strawberry yogurt and peanut butter).   All sound good right (or at least trendy)?  Samson to his credit tried the blueberry one (Mommy, this is really strange).  I ate one PB&J one (not bad, but not good) and when I offered Lukie one he looked at me like I was from another planet. 

So, the next time I will fill my very cool William and Sonoma Popsicle molds with fruit juice and let the kids have them or I might get really crazy and just buy the sugar filled wonderfulness that we had as kids – yes freeze pops!  After all, what can be better than frozen water with lots of sugar and enough food coloring to change the color or your poop? And nothing could be better than letting them melt a little and drinking the flavored/colored stuff out of the plastic sleeve. I guess some of the great childhood summer traditions should not be messed with and I wonder if any kids who have ever had a freeze pop could be talked into eating a popsicle made of Greek yogurt?  Not likely.

Day 16 – Another lesson from Lukie

So if it is 94 degrees outside and your 4 year old insists he wants to wear his long sleeved PJs to walk the 10 minutes down to the post office do you a) let him do it because it is not worth the melt down to get him to change b) make him change because he will get too hot and be unhappy/not nice for the entire walk.  The answer is c) take the car silly Mommy as it is 94 degrees out.  

Too bad I didn't figure this out until after I let him wear the PJs.  I thought if he got too hot (which he certainly would), it would teach him to listen to me when I suggest he should change into seasonally appropriate clothing. What it really meant was that he got hot and grouchy and I ended up carrying him all the way home.  Bright side is I considered this a mini workout and celebrated with a cupcake!

Day 15 – The Lukie Factor

Today I seem to have started so many things, but as I look around the house it seems I only got about ½ way done with any of them.  I currently have all the ingredients set out on the kitchen counter for popsicles I wanted to make, but no popsicles; two loads of clean laundry dumped out on the bed ready for folding, but not folded; cupcakes that Lukie and I started to make baked, but not frosted; kitchen cabinets emptied out for cleaning, but contents all over kitchen and not yet returned to proper places; a bathroom that was supposed to be cleaned, but cleaning supplies only made it to sitting outside of the bathroom door.  How is it that with retirement I “gained” 10 hours a day (if you include the commute time), but get less done?  Oh one simple reason… “The Lukie Factor”.  Factor in the following:

+ While I attempted to make popsicles, Lukie decided we should build a hotel in the playroom for his stuffed animals.

+While I attempted to fold laundry, Lukie decided we should build bunk beds for his animals that did not fit in the hotel and decorate the hotel with photographs from our fireplace mantel.

+While I was attempting to clean out the kitchen cabinets, Lukie decided we should make cupcakes for his birthday (which is by the way Feb 26^th, but I never pass up the chance to make cupcakes with the boys).

+When we decided to frost them, Lukie decided it was too hot and we should go to the pool (it was hot, so we went to the pool)

+While I attempted to clean the bathroom, I basically got tired from attempting to keep up with Lukie and decided to hang out and watch something on Netflix with him instead.

OK, so the Lukie Factor might also be called the “Easily Distracted Mommy Factor”.   At least everyone had fun and nobody got hurt (my new benchmark for a good day)!

Day 14 - Anti-Venom

I fell asleep before I had a chance to write anything last night, but was woken up at 2ish by Lukie yelling for me.  I went to his bed and found him fully clothed (unusual lately).  I asked what was wrong.  Lukie said, “Do we have any anti-venom?” I told him of course we did and to go back to sleep.  I then made a mental note to hide the book on snakes before bedtime stories.  

Day 13 – Crazy start…peaceful end.

Today started at 3AM.  I noticed a light on in the hall and found every light in Lukie’s room on, but no Lukie in bed.  Instead, he was on the floor covered with a blanket.  When I went to put him back in bed, I discovered he had on no PJ pants or underwear (seems to be a trend with Lukie lately).  Yes, naked from the waist down. I’m pretty sure this was not how I put him to bed, but at 3AM I pretty much didn’t care and put him back to bed that way.

The boys decided this afternoon that to celebrate Father’s Day they wanted to sleep out in the tent in the back yard.   While the plan for our outdoor sleeping adventure unfolded, Lukie made it clear that I could not sleep in the tent and would have to sleep in the house.  Happy Father’s Day to me!  The house is so quiet I almost feel guilty.  Almost, but not quite!

Day 12 – Dino Museum with no Dinos?

I thought it was the start of a really bad day.  Lukie requested a visit to the dino museum (Natural History Museum to most people).  Since we had just read an article in the paper about the Smithsonian buying some great T-rex fossil, I figured what a great way to spend our Friday AM.  Got to the museum and found the dino/fossil area closed off with a “to reopen in 2019” sign on it.  2019?  Are you kidding me?  How long does it take you to put together a fossil that was found in the late 80s?  Everyone knows what a T-rex looks like.  Slap that thing together and get on with it.  We obviously need to spend more government money on the Smithsonian because Lukie will be 9 and probably not even care about dinos by the time you folks unveil this silly fossil.  (end of rant)

With a sad and confused Lukie, I headed quickly to the exhibits upstairs (which we have actually NEVER seen because we never get past the dinos).  Found a bug/insect area (of course sponsored by Orkin because after having you look at all the creepy crawly things with your kids they want you to feel like you HAVE to have some type of pest control).  I have to say..it was so cool.  We saw a black widow, live bee hive that had bees coming in from outside, tarantulas and all sorts of ants and roaches.  Lukie even got to pet a grasshopper.  We also discovered the mummy room.  Lukie thought that was super cool too.   So, although we will miss the dinos and anxiously await the unveiling of our new T-rex, so many other cool things to see!

Oh and Lukie not only decided to wear his PJs all day (as usual), he decided that going commando (no undies) would be cool and that he needed to wear a fleece bathrobe to the bus stop to pick up Samson.  Feel like he might be channeling Hugh Hefner.  One of the ladies at the bus stop took a picture. I might have to post.

Day 11 – Rebirth of a Super Hero.

No, I don’t think my parenting skills have magically progressed to Super Hero level in the whole 11 days at home.  Samson and Lukas wanted to play super hero.  They put on Captain America and Iron Man costumes from Halloween and gave me an old cow costume to wear on my head because of course since it was made for a 3 year old, it would not fit me.  I made a command decision that I was sick of being an evil cow and headed upstairs to put together a new super hero costume.  I put on a pink and black checkered skirt (don’t know why I own this) and tied a bunch of scarves around my arms and head.  A quick look in the mirror made me think I was kind of a cross between a pirate and a scary colorful nun.  No matter what, I was not going to be an evil cow again.  As I walked down the stairs attempting to look not only a little scary, but menacing Lukie announces “Look Mommy is a butterfly.”  OK not really as menacing as I had hoped for, but they both ran away screaming and then decided that my wings spit out poisonous gas.  Sometimes I wish I could see the world through the eyes of Lukie and Samson more! 

Day 10 – Breakfast says it all.

So this is just a sample of the fast moving conversation around the breakfast table this morning:

Samson says – “Mommy I hope you get pregnant.  That would be funny.”

I think – Where on earth did that come from and no, it would not be funny at all and I can guarantee that you would not like the change it would cause in your life Samson.  Can you say sharing a room with your crazy brother and sharing Daddy with yet another human being.

Lukas says – “I don’t like girls.  But I love mommy.  She is not a real girl.”

I think – Not sure if I should take this as a compliment or an insult, so I’ll take it as a compliment. 

Lukas says –“ I don’t have a school anymore.”

I think – You do have a school.  You just have the summer off.  Don’t get too used to it!

Samson says – “Mommy is home schooling you Lukie.”

I think – Oh hell no!

Lukas says – “If I am Captain America, mommy has to be an evil cow.”

I think – OK, I can take not being a real girl, but a cow?  Come on little man try not to destroy my delicate self esteem in one morning.

Samson says – “If I don’t eat my vitamins will I die?”

I think – If I tell him “yes” then it will either cause him to eat his vitamin or freak out because he did not eat it yesterday and now thinks he is going to die anytime.  If I say “no” there is no chance he will eat it.  I can’t win this one.  

Love that we don’t have to rush out of the house at 7AM every morning anymore.  

Day 9 – Go to work Mommy.

Today started out with Lukie on his bedroom floor naked (not sure why) complaining that he had to stay home with Mommy again today.  “I want to stay with Daddy.”  Doug urges me that Lukie does not understand what he is saying.  I think Lukie knows and means exactly what he is saying, but does not have the social filter most adults have developed to know it might hurt my feelings.  Either way, I was determined to not get anything productive done today and just have fun with Lukie.  Ice cream, a nature walk, two hours at the pool later…mission accomplished!  Bonus – have managed to pick up Samson on time from the bus stop two days in a row!  Samson even praised me for this accomplishment when he got off the bus.

Day 8 – I am in charge right?

Lesson for today..don’t ask the 4 year old what he wants to do or you will sit around all day doing nothing.  Pick something to do, tell him what you are doing and do it.  Also as a side note, if the Luke Skywalker Lego character gets lost it is ALWAYS my fault.  Don’t even know what the darn thing looks like, but totally my fault according to Lukie.  Then of course once I find the character I can’t find the light saber (also my fault by default).  Why the heck would Lego think making any “vital” part to a child’s toy the size of ½ of a toothpick is OK?   I love Lego even if 500+ of your smallest pieces are currently spread all over my living room floor and will inevitably end up clogging my vacuum cleaner or getting stepped on during the middle of the night when one of the boys screams out for water.  Ranting now...must need sleep.

Day 7 – Bad Mommy…again.

Had kids illegally walk across 395 onramp today to watch Daddy in a bike race.  Thought the ramp was closed for the race, but not the case.  Still, had to get water bottles to Daddy, so…on we went.  Then had them spend two hours hanging out under the 395 overpass to cheer Daddy on.  Not sure if that makes us dedicated Daddy fans or just some strange people who hung out under the bridge for a couple hours.  Came ready with sidewalk chalk, toy cars, snacks and of course iphone just in case they got really bored.  Samson held up “Go Faster Daddy” sign for a total of 5 minutes and then asked when we could go home.  (He eventually got the iphone of course).  Lukie immediately went for the snacks and sidewalk chalk.  All seemed under control until I looked up and noticed although Lukie had spilled his snack he was continuing to eat it off the ground (remember we are not in the home kitchen, but under the 395 ovepass).  He was also alternating with bites of the sidewalk chalk (guess he liked the color it made his mouth turn).  Glad we got to support Daddy, wondering if kids need tetanus shots. 

Following highway adventure Doug had invited neighborhood over for crabs without checking family schedule which clearly stated Samson had birthday party. Doug is not a big supporter of kid’s birthday parties and figures it is no big deal for Samson to skip.  Samson does not share his feelings (it is a gymnastics party after all).  So, with 13+ people at our house and an unhappy Doug, I leave to take Samson to party.  Get to party and it appears most parents are dropping off.  We have not done this before, but figure I can make everyone happy (Samson gets party and Doug gets me at home) if I do drop off.  Yippie..I make everyone happy!  So I actually think I have pulled this off until I am putting Samson to bed and ask him if the party was fun.  He bursts into tears and explains how upset he was because during water breaks and cake he was looking for me and does not understand where I went.  Apparently I forgot to mention to Samson my brilliant plan of dropping off.  You mean everyone in the family can’t hear the wonderful plans inside my head?  Nice job Mommy!   

Day 6 – Is their such a thing as “down time” now?

Back to back t-ball games, a few hours at the pool (so cold) and a BBQ with friends.  I use to use my week days sitting at a desk to recover from non-stop weekend activities.  Not sure what I am going to do now as time with Lukie is not really “down time”.  Maybe I can talk him into napping again.

 

Highpoint (at least one of them today) was coaching second base for Lukie’s team (mighty Rockhounds).  Although they are only supposed to run one base after they hit the ball.  Lukie ran right through first, on to second, and into my arms.  He gave me a big hug and said, “Mommy what are you doing here?”  Made the sunburn on my shoulders well worth it.

Day 5 – Where did it go?

Came home today from getting a haircut (which is not nearly as relaxing when you have a 4 year old waiting on you) and found the sub-pump in our basement pumping stuff out onto the driveway (as it should if it had just rained or was raining).  As we have not had rain in a couple of days, I became concerned and checked out the basement.  No issues.  About 3 hours later I remembered this morning I watered the new rose bushes in the front yard and apparently rolled up the hose setting it next to the house, but somehow forgot to turn off the water.  Pregnancy brain is nothing compared to the retiree brain I seem to have going on.  

Then went to Samson’s Kindergarten concert where they sang songs called “Water Cycle” and “Reduce/Reuse/Recycle” focused on how we should not waste water.  Felt like they were sending me a personal message.  Since I was already at the school, I just brought Samson home.  Figured if he was with me, at least I could have a 50% success rate this week for on time after school pick-ups.  50% is passing right?

Managed to get one of the three bathrooms cleaned, it was dirty again within 10 minutes thanks to Lukie’s lack of basic concentration while he urinates.  Baked some cookies and then ate 1/3 of them myself because well they were really good.  As I mentioned, I got my haircut (just a little shorter).  Lukie said he will like it if I let him watch a movie.  Samson said it is not as cool because I can’t tie it in a knot (I think he means braid).  Doug said, “You realize that you cut out all the blonde parts?”  Thank you Schneider boys/man, I’m going to bed (after one more cookie).

Day 4 – King’s Dominion

Had to bribe Samson to get over his fear of roller coasters.  Offered him $5 to ride it just once with me (after Lukie had ridden it twice already).  We got done riding, he said he loved it and wanted to go again.  After second ride he asked to go again, but we didn’t have time.  Leaving the ride he says “So I get $5 every time I rode it with you right?”  So did he really like it or is money a powerful motivator for this one?  All in all day was lots of fun.  Two tired boys and one very tired Mommy.

Day 3 – Are you kidding me?

Big plans today to weed the yard, clean the house, grocery shop and pick up Doug’s dry cleaning all while keeping Lukie entertained.  OK sounds really silly now, but sounded reasonable this morning when I got up for my run.  I managed to get the kitchen clean, pick up milk at the grocery, get Doug’s dry cleaning, keep Lukie mildly entertained and completely exhaust myself.  Sitting at a desk all day was certainly never this physically demanding. 

Oh did I mention I missed bus pickup again?  Apparently “early release” Wed is earlier than I thought.  Maybe we will just start riding bikes to school again.  Oh, but then I would have to teach Lukie to ride a bike.  On my list for this summer, but seeing as how the first three days have gone, I’m not counting on anything.  Did I mention I miss my cleaning ladies?  Have to go…boys are building a yarn cocoon around me and the kitchen that I may not be able to escape from if I wait any longer to get out.

Day 2 – No Respect

Friend and classmate had retirement ceremony today back at my old office building.  I sent in all the necessary clearance request info to security, but when I showed up they did not have it and would not let me in because I could only produce my retired ID and no drivers license (DMV took my FL one the day before and just gave me a piece of paper temp that security would not except).  All the security guards were calling Lukie by name and asking me how I liked being retired, but all refused to let us in.  Not sure if this shows they have really good security or lack of ability to think outside of the standard procedures.  Finally got in after a 40 minute wait so they could verify my information.  Standard retirement ceremony lasts 60 minutes….poor Lukie…120 minutes later we skipped the reception to get the poor boy home.  At least he had is sandbox, mudpit, Mt. Fuji waiting for him when we got home.  Now he keeps asking me if it is time to go get Samson.  Can’t figure out if he is actually concerned about Samson or just thinks I can’t handle it.

Tired to call and arrange for an estimate on replacing some windows in the house.  We had time and date set when the lady on the phone asked, “Will Mr. Schneider be available during that time?”.  I said “No he works until later.”  They reply, “Oh, well we really like to have both members of the couple around so we can explain everything to them.”  I lost  it – “Trust me, I am the primary bread winner in the house (a lie, but you get the idea) and have the authority to make the decisions for this house.” ( I may have overreacted)  They still insisted that we find a time when both of us could be around, so I scheduled.  After closer look at their website and talking to Doug ends up we don’t need windows replaced, but just fixed and they are the wrong company anyway…so much for me making the decisions for this house.  

Day 1 – Not Mom of the Year…but trying

Day starts off with Samson complaining about not getting to go to Extended Day after school anymore.  I try to explain to him that now he can ride the bus home and gets to spend more time with me and Lukie.  That does not work, so I try to explain the economics of how it makes no sense for me to pay $400+ for him to hang out at school after school when I am at home.  Still no luck.  Finally I explain we can go to the pool after school and he can have friends over.  This seems to work….a little.

 

Once Samson on bus and only Lukie and I at home, I decided to go get my VA drivers license.  Used technology that I usually fight but everyone tells me is great to check online and note that my local DMV has a 36 minute wait.  Not acceptable for DMV visit with Lukie in tow, but what do I see…a DMV only 3 minutes further away with only a 7 minute wait.  We hop in the car (without my normal mommy supplies of toys and snacks because Lukie can hold off for 7 minutes) and rush to the DMV.  We return 3 hours later with an unhappy Lukie and slightly frazzled Mommy who is the proud new owner of a VA license (let the taxing begin). 

Wanted to do something fun to make up for the time Lukie had to sit waiting at DMV, so pulled out my latest issue of Parenting Magazine that talks about making a small sand play tub out of a plastic container.   Just big enough to entertain child, not big enough to cause major mess or become a cat box in our back yard for neighborhood cats.  Whoever printed this idea in the magazine obviously did not beta test it on boys.  The picture shows a child playing nicely in the sand.  I turned my head for a couple of minutes and Lukie had turned the container into a swimming pool for his dinosaurs and my driveway into “Mt. Fuji” as he called it.  I guess that is why they sell sand and water tables.  The two just obviously go together. 

As we were having fun with the water, I mean sandbox, I kept checking my watch to ensure we picked up Samson from the bus stop at 4:10.  Then I noticed a bus go by.  Couldn’t be Samson’s bus it is only 3:50.  Then I saw the other kids from Samson’s bus drive by.  Yes, first day riding home on the bus when I have told him he can’t go to extended day and I was late (OK completely missed) picking him up at the bus stop.  Fortunately a neighbor grabbed him and Samson seemed to not care.  Bus driving must think I’m an idiot.

Ended the day with a nice walk around the block while Samson and Doug were at T-ball.  It was so nice I urged Lukie to go another few blocks and was rewarded by poop in his pants, down his legs and all over the bathroom floor when we finally got home.  He didn’t tell me he had to go, but first thing he proudly told Samson and Doug when they got home was that he pooped himself.

Here it is......

Decided after 24 years in the Coast Guard I wanted to see what life outside was like.  Husband has agreed to me staying home two years to "relax", "enjoy myself" and "figure out what I want to do".  With 4 and 6 year old boys, I'm betting not much of that relax thing is going to happen, but it will certainly be an interesting transition from full time military to full time mom.  People in the neighborhood and family have bets on how long I will last.  I'm not sure if that means they have great confidence in my contributions to the work place or a lack of confidence in my ability to stay actively engaged outside of a formal workplace.  We shall see......I'm looking forward to giving it a try.