Day 291 – House cleaning guilt.

I hired the house cleaners back.  Part of me feels ridiculous and guilty about it.  I stay at home.  I don’t do any major volunteer work.  One of my children is in school all day and the other is in school 9 hours a week.  Why is it so hard for me to actually get the house clean?  With that said…they come next week and I am so excited! I’m helping the economy; freeing myself to really focus on my kids and all the other little lies I will tell myself to try to feel better about it.  The truth is, the guilt over having someone else help clean my house is less than the guilt I would feel when 1) I don’t get it done myself, 2) I get it done because I had Lukie sitting inside watching a movie on a beautiful day so I could scrub the toilets or 3) the hatred I feel for my family because when I do get it clean my hard work is either not appreciated or undone in a matter of seconds.