Day 102 – Reunion blues.

More post job than mommy related today.  I have my 20 year Coast Guard Academy reunion coming up.  Not sure if I want to go.  Not sure if I want to take kids.  Pretty sure I would rather just take the 5 day weekend and run away to the beach with Doug (oh and kids maybe too).  It isn’t that I don’t want to see people, but I don’t want to sit around talking about work stuff because it is not my work anymore.  It is also likely that people do not want to sit around and talk about my kids the whole time (that is fair).  I guess we can just spend the time reminiscing, but honestly I was not close with very many people at school.  I got to know more of my classmates after the school part was over.  At school I was an academic dork who thought I was going to get kicked out at any moment and thought boys (who made up most of my class) were people to be feared not befriended in most cases.   So, am I going to spend the weekend alone or making small talk with people who don’t even remember who I am? I’ll go, but my ego kind of is getting in the way too.  “What are you doing now that you retired?” ….”Oh, I hang out and bake cookies and read stories to my kids.”  People say to my face “oh I envy you. I would love to do that.”  Truth is, if they wanted to they would?  I secretly think many people belive I am lazy and wasting my time.  I know it shouldn’t matter what they think and most of the time it doesn’t, but if I’m really honest with myself, sometimes it does.  OK, enough pity party for today.  I’ll order my reunion tickets now and be done with it (and might even talk myself into having a good time).