Day 345 - Random bad mommy thoughts today.

I hope my kids don't like the new ice cream flavor The Tonight Dough because I LOVE it and don't want to share even though I just got on Lukie's case about sharing.  I love watching Samson at the 1st grade poetry jam, but do I really have to listen to 120 other kids poems?  Can't they just give us time slots to show up for our kid?  OK poetry thing actually went really quickly and was kind of cute.  If there are 10 treadmills open in the gym, why does the little skinny, tan, semi-model girl have to decide to take her jog next to me?  I'm going to try to drip some sweat on her on purpose and may even find her in the locker room later and force feed her a donut or two. I don't care if you like them, we are not eating buttered noodles again for dinner.  You don't want to play with me right now because I'm a girl?  Guess what, I'm going to be a girl forever, so either get used to it or clear me of playing responsibilities now and I'll find something else to do.  Oh and by the way, whenever we play Star Wars ships I can be Luke Skywalker if I want to.  I don't always have to be Chewbacca (who was a boy by the way) or Princess Leia (who by the way was giving orders to most of the boys in the movie and is pretty darn good with a blaster).  If the cat wants to go out, let her out.  I know you think she will disappear, but she knows where the food is and I am NOT going to start cleaning up her pee again because she is stressed from being inside.  Do my kids realize that the amount they yell at me is inversely proportional to the chances of them getting what they were yelling at me about in the first place?