Day 158 – Transition meltdown.

Most days I’m happy and like that I get to hang out with the boys more, but today I started off with this feeling of “what the hell am I actually doing with my life?” Yes, I know – raising the boys.  But when my ego steps in I think “There must be something more I should be doing for the greater good of mankind than wiping butts and getting snacks.”  Funny thing is, I wasn’t really doing anything that was changing the world before (at least I was getting paid), so not sure why now I feel this almost guilt for not having some grand plan or life changing project.  Mostly I just want to enjoy each day and mostly I manage to do that.  Guess that is pretty good and not going to change soon as I’m still only on page 4 of “How to make a living without having a job.”  Not really sure that any job is the answer.  I need to feel like I have a fulfilling purpose.  Maybe I need to get my butt back to church.  Maybe I need to stop binge eating Halloween candy resulting in sugar lows that manifest themselves as minor states of depression.  Maybe I just need to join Lukie who is currently making “shoes” for himself out of construction paper and masking tape!